I have two other blogs that I write at the moment and it seems like they have all been focused, in one way or another, on the idea of the Mental Game...the thing that keeps you motivated and can shoot you down the fastest, the creature that lives in your head...we all know how it goes.
There's always this moment of bliss for me when I start something new, before the accomplishments/goals/expectations can hit..when I'm just doing something that I've never done before and I'm in that testing zone...all doors are open, all things are possible and idea that I can "fail" isn't really there because I don't even know if I'm going to like the thing I'm trying or have any interest in pursuing it, or whatever.
I want to live my life in that stage with all things--I want to learn how to train myself to keep my options open and keep the idea of failure out of it. More specifically, I'd like to find a way to come to peace with the little demon that lives in my head that gets sick of running before my physical self is sick of running.
This has been the battle the past few runs--I'm going along and everything is fine and then mentally, I just quit...and the rest of the run isn't very enjoyable and it's nowhere near what I could or have done because I'm just not plugged in mentally. It's really frustrating. I have been overworked and stressed out lately and I keep turning to my physical activities as a good way to center myself and find some "me time"...and it's been working for the most part--except when I just totally lose focus and have to fight my way through the allotted amount of time I've scheduled for my run or my yoga class or whatever.
I feel like fighting through it is better than just giving up on and letting my brain win--I tend to adhere to the philosophy that says my Motivation/Spirit is just a big muscle that needs to be stressed and worked out and pushed so that it becomes what we know it can be...but boy does it fight back hard!
So, I've got a run planned for my lunch break today and we're going to see how it goes. It comes back to that whole "ask nothing from your running" line from Born to Run...I'm just going to run. I'm going to run until my body says stop and if my mind tries to interfere, well..hopefully it doesn't win the day.
I've also found that a good way to shut my Motivation up is to buy a shiny new pair of shoes hehe...so perhaps before lunch I will do that...the vibrams are getting worn out (I have a hole in the toe! w00t!) (c: