By the many posts I've alredy put out there this morning on just about every subject, you can tell I've had my coffee! Well, post San Juan I am a little nervous about my cool impossible Leadville. San Juan was a training run...not a race..mentally I know this, but my time was a wee bit disappointing..ok A LOT disappointing. Not to mention the altitude sickness I experienced. I was hoping for a confidence boosting performance. I experienced some altitude sickness and hypothermia last year at leadville as well. I survived Leadville last year. I survived San Juan. I want to do more than "survive". I'm hopeful that what I experienced at San Juan, and just being at altitude for a good long while will toughen my body up and help me outsmart some of the problems I had. Contrast these thoughst with...I love the challenge. It's like a game...figuring, problem solving, trying to outsmart the situation. I loved that aspect of San juan. The race with a disapponting time had a deeply satisfying result. It still got the best of me in many ways, but I did learn a ton, I loved every moment of that run, and you could not have begged or bribed me off the mountain before the 16 hour cut off.I love this game of seeing how close I can get to my cool impossible. I love the process... I finally got it. It's not getting what I want (win or time goal), it's the process. I LOVE the process, the hard work, the figuring, the sudden changes of plan and adapting. Yes my result was disappointing to me, but I am stronger, better, smarter, and I will have a cool impossible at leadville...Will that mean the finish I want? I don't know...I'm gonna give it hell, but whatever happens, I have the deep down satisfaction that no time goal beat or race win will give me. Those are such temporary satisfactions. There will ALWAYS be someone faster, time records broken. I will always feel some disappointment when I dont GET what I want in that regard. But what's left is a deep satisfaction that time does not diminish. So on we go.
Have a great time at Leadville. One of the things that sticks in my mind from reading Cool Impossible and BTR is the image of the Tarahumara grinning as they run - simply enjoying the running for what it is.
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Have a great time at Leadville. One of the things that sticks in my mind from reading Cool Impossible and BTR is the image of the Tarahumara grinning as they run - simply enjoying the running for what it is.
Just enjoy it !
The chase is better than the catch ;-)